Nintendo DS browser

Well, my nintendo ds browser finally came today. In fact, I'm making this post from it right now. Typing in it utilizes the stylus to hit tiny keys on a keyboard that I,ve dubbed a "wee-board," so this post won't be too long. The ds browser (Opera) is pretty cool and functional thus far. Check back in the near future for a full review.

Don't talk to the police

As if anyone needed to be told any more reasons not to talk to the 5-0, this video of James Duane, apparently a Regent law professor and big supporter of the 5th amendment, gives them to you. The video appears to be a taped lecture at the law school and, as such, is pretty long (on the order of 50 minute or so). The first 20 minutes is Dr Duane speaking as to why he, a defense lawyer, among many others, recommends NEVER speaking to the police under any circumstances unless you are legally obligated to or otherwise instructed to by a competent lawyer (NOTE: go find a competent lawyer and/or pick up a book to find out when/where/why you would be legally obligated to. The latter part of the video is from a police officer, presumably giving counterpoints.

Unfortunately, our landlady came by with a new copy of our lease at about 18 minutes into it and then it wouldn't play again, so if you watch it, feel free to leave some Cliff's Notes.

The video is streamed HERE, but allows a maximum of 20 viewers at a time.

It is also available (and linked from the page) on iTunes HERE. I have trouble downloading stuff from iTunes, so if you're successful at downloading the video file, please contact me to help figure out how I can get it from you.

Enjoy.

The US v Olofson travesty

Well, in case you care but haven't been following this story, David R. Olofson's appeal was denied and he was ordered to report to prison by July 2. If you're not familiar with this case, it's one of an upstanding citizen, honorably discharged Army veteran and guardsman who lent his neighbor (and prospective AR15 owner) an AR15 rifle to check out before he spent the money on one for himself. While this guy had the rifle out at the range, it experienced a malfunction which caused the rifle to fire several rounds in a burst. The fuzz got called, the BATFE came and took this guy's guns, computer, life, etc. and sent him to court despite the fact that upon their initial examination they couldn't replicate the "automatic" fire so they modified the f-ing rifle so that it would burst fire when using soft primered .223 ammo (in a weapon presumably chambered for 5.56mm ammo).

For more on the story, try Googling it. Also see Mr. Olofson's ARFCOM thread regarding the issue (bad news in the form of copies of court documents on pg86). Also be sure to check out this Lou Dobbs snippet about the case.


EDIT: More video directly from CNN: Lou Dobbs Segment 1 (same as the one above) and Lou Dobbs segment 2.

Fire at will!

Governet Ted Strickland (D-OH) signed SB184 (The Castle Doctrine) into law yesterday, thereby expanding the rights of law abiding Ohioans by allowing them to not be victimized. The law also includes some provisions improving CCW laws. See my earlier post for more information about the bill.

Here's the NRA-ILA press release, penned by Daniel White:


Fairfax, VA-Ohio Governor Ted Strickland today signed the National Rifle Association (NRA)-backed “Castle Doctrine” legislation into law to expand the self-defense rights of law-abiding citizens. SB 184, sponsored by State Senator Steve Buehrer (R-1), protects the rights of innocent victims to defend themselves from criminal attack while expanding the rights of concealed-carry permit holders.

“I want to thank all parties concerned for working together to make this victims’ rights bill the law in Ohio,” said Chris W. Cox, NRA's chief lobbyist. “When you're confronted by a criminal, you don't have the luxury of time. Under the ‘Castle Doctrine’ provision, if someone breaks into your occupied home or temporary habitation, or your occupied car, you now have an initial presumption that you may act in self defense and you will not be second-guessed by the State. The ability to protect yourself and your family from harm is important no matter where you are.”

Also included in SB 184 are several pro-gun provisions that make Ohio's concealed carry laws more “user friendly”. Among these revisions include important clarifications for persons without a Concealed Handgun License (CHL) to legally transport firearms in an automobile, and pick up/drop off abilities for license holders in school safety zones. The bill also designates mandatory legal fees for gun owners who require court orders to have firearms returned to them, decriminalizes concealed carry in privately owned parking garages, allows permit holders to carry a firearm in an unlocked glove compartment or center console and removes the written test requirement for renewal of a concealed handgun license.

“The Castle Doctrine bill is about putting the law back on the side of the victim, the way it's supposed to be,” concluded Cox.

Abandon hope, all ye who send me junk mail/spam

I learned some new things and found some neat stuff tonight.

As I was going though all of my junk mail tonight(real mail, not spam. We'll get to that), separating the shred pile and the trash pile and the Business Reply Mail envelopes to send back to the vultures at the pre-approved credit card offer mail rooms, I wondered just how much postage I could milk out of these suckers.

I briefly considered stuffing the remaining portion of their junk offers back into the envelope (along with the original outer envelope for good measure, of course), but it didn't take long to abandon that idea as one that would require far too much of my time. Plus I'd have to remove all personally identifying information. Far too much time.

Well, it turns out that rule 917.243(b) in the Domestic Mail Manual says that the USPS can treat items with business reply mail card or envelope used as a label (like on a brick, blender, banana, or otherwise unwieldy and, ultimately expensive to ship) as "waste" and throw it away. So much for getting rid of all that crap that we didn't unload in the yard sale. Due to this unfortunate development, I now have a stack of business reply envelopes (a dozen or two to each of the major credit card companies) which will have to go home empty, costing the companies the meager 1oz First Class Mail postage of $0.42 (which goes to the hard working American men and women of the USPS) and the cost for the time it takes Joe Mailclerk to open the thing, pitch it, and complain about it to his fellow wage-slaves around the water cooler.

Homework: Since this operation isn't costing them very much, for the master plan to really take effect, the maximum number of possible BRM envelopes for junk mail need to be sent back. You'd better get busy pulling these things out of all those pre-approved credit card offers and shipping them back. And tell all of your friends to do the same.

As for spam/junk email, for the time being, emails are free to send and receive (not counting the negligent infrastructure related costs per email) so sending anything back to spammers would simply be an exercise in futility and likely only result in your email being added to more spam mailing lists (by the way, don't forget to use something like Temporary Inbox to protect your email address when signing up for stuff online). I did find something sort of neat though. THIS page helps to try and fight the battle against spam bots, email harvesters and web crawlers who scour web pages looking for email addresses to send spam to. Details of how they think it will work are on their page, but all you need to do is link to their page. The address is http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/. They also offer some code to include on your website or blog:

Put this image in your blog!


<br /><a href="http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/"><br /><img alt="This link kills spam" src="http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/icon.png" border=0></a><br />

Or for "This link kills spam" text link, use
<br /><a href="http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/"><br />This link kills spam</a><br />

So, for your next Homework assignment, if you have a blog or website, be sure to include this link in it.

Hooray for screwing with spammers and junk mailers!

Hey, HP...Eat it!

NOTE I looked at this post after I was done and decided that THIS might help. Enjoy.

Well, if nothing else, I'm learning at work which products suck. Last time it was Windows Vista. Bill Gates even agrees with me on that one. Now it's HP. Their products are garbage and their customer support is a circus. Please note that only during one of my 15+ call to HP support could I understand more than 60% of what the tech was saying. As far as I could tell, that call somehow wound up in a Canadian call center rather than the Indian one, eh.

We got this HP OfficejetPro L7780 All-In-One printer back in February and it's been pretty much nothing but trouble. It would occasionally print and copy decently, but much of the time it would either barf out a document that was printed so lightly that it was unreadable or one that was barely readable but had big, black, nasty streaks down the left side of the page. Finally we got sick enough of it and had enough spare time for me to look into it.

First, I google the problem and search their support pages. No good. I look up this particular product on their site and learn that it has a 1-year warranty. Good. February 2008 to May 2008 < 1-year. Time to call and get everything squared away. I call up their 1-800 number and, after wading through those awful robot-menus that are supposed to be more user-friendly that just pushing a button, speak with this real nice girl who transfers me to someone else who finally routes me to the people who deal with these sorts of problems. After going in circles with these clowns, who are trying to get me to check crap like "is it plugged in," "is there paper in it," etc., they finally tell me to print a "Print Quality Diagnostics Page." Well, whatever that thing told them wasn't in any publicly available documentation but whatever it was they decided to send us another one for free under the warranty, but I called just in time since the warranty only has 13 days left on it.

WHAT? 13 days? By my calculations, one year from February 2008 would put the warranty end date somewhere around FEBRUARY 2009! Nope, they say, 13 days. F*ck you, customer! HA HA! Whatever, it's probably some sort of evil HP loophole. Send us the printhead and the printer will be fixed and the warranty be damned. I install it the thing and... Viola, it fires up and prints a beautiful, streak-free "Print Quality Diagnostics Page." Fast forward fifteen seconds and the printer is unresponsive and just keeps showing an error message of "The following printhead(s) has a problem: Black/Yellow (K/Y)."

Several failed HP "Live chat support" sessions, a phone call or two, several emails and one "successful" chat session later and we're making "real progress." These jokers are check asinine, common sense stuff like checking cables again. Unbelievable. I'm no printer genius, but common sense and the better part of a decade of computer science and electrical engineering classes tell me that lousy print quality isn't due to possible minuscule resistance from a surge suppressor/UPS. So I patronize this dingleberry for a while and finally they offer to send us a new printer, just in time since there are only a couple days left on our warranty. (P.S. The boss and the secretary finally got the warranty thing ironed out. Hopefully)

So the new (remanufactured) printer arrives from HP. Well, part of a printer arrived from HP. I had to literally disassemble the old printer and put the parts onto the new one. How much BS is that? What if this was going someone who isn't mechanically savvy enough to build a printer nearly from scratch? What if the parts coming from the old printer are causing the problem in the first place. What if the problem was with the cords, the print heads, the print cartridges, the print trays, the duplexer, or any of the myriad other parts that they didn't ship with this thing. In any case, I get the S.O.B together, all the parts swapped and the print cartridges and print heads installed (including the brand new, factory sealed black and yellow printhead that we just got). Fire it up and it give us the old familiar "The following printhead(s) has a problem: Black/Yellow (K/Y)." AHHHH!

I try the old printhead and it works, but still prints the streaks. OK, so in two different printers, each printhead causes the same problem. Does this sound like a printhead problem to you? Because this sounds like a printhead problem to me. I'm guessing that the original problem was caused by a bad black/yellow printhead, which they replaces with another bad one. So I call HP again to get this fixed, figuring they'll send me another head. Instead they offer to, once they receive the original printer back, they'll ship a third printer to us and we can return the second printer. Apparently this makes more sense than just sending us another printhead. I emailed them about this and they told me that this problem "requires one on one support" and that they'd call me. I can't call them, they have to call me. And they haven't called me yet.

So, as disappointing as this end to the story is, that's where we're at with this P.O.S printer. More updates to follow, if there are any.

Elementary, my dear Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

My Castle

Q. So John McCain, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are on a boat and the boat sinks. Who gets saved?


A. (highlight for the answer): America

Yeah, I know. It's a good one. I overheard it at a car swap meet with one of my buddies.

Anyway, the Ohio senate recently passed some legislation called The Castle Doctrine by a vote of 25 to 7. The legislation is now heading to Governor Ted Strickland(D), who has already voiced his support for SB 184 and is expected to sign it into law within the next couple of weeks.



SB 184, sponsored by State Senator Steve Buehrer (R-1), will restore the right of individuals to respond with force in defense of their lives and family, and immunize the victim from civil lawsuits by criminals or the criminal's family. SB 184 also contains several provisions which will make critical changes to Ohio's concealed carry statute (re: concealed carry on school property when picking up/dropping off a child, in vehicles, by tenants on their rental properties, et al.).

Hooray, Ohio!

Close the Dang Windows!

Well, it's probably been well over a month since I've even booted any of my computers into any flavor of Micro$oft Windows. I've dual booted for the better part of a decade, but mostly just kept it on in XP. Lately, however, I've just kept it Linux. I got started on my renewed Linux kick a couple weeks ago when, after a year or two of procrastination, I decided to start checking out 64-bit operating system so that I could make better use of my Athlon 64 box. I picked this thing up a few years back thinking "soon, everyone will be using 64 bit processors and software running on the same." Fail! Apparently Intel and their big 32-bit dual-core deal is winning this processor race. But...I digress. Anyway, MS Windows sucks in general and I'd read plenty of horror stories about hardware and software incompatibility issues with the 64-bit Windows systems so I started looking around at the 64-bit builds of some Linux OS. What I found were more of the same incompatibility horror stories, but this time, it was mostly from the eggheads who wanted to and/or had the ability to tinker with it and make it work (I don't have the time, the inclination nor, likely, the knowledge to undertake such an endeavor).

So, since I was on a bunch of Linux distribution sites anyway, I grabbed a few new OS installations. The one that I've been enjoying the most lately is Ubuntu. This is probably one of the most user-friendly Linux systems I've used, which is likely why they call it "Linux for Human Beings." If you've ever thought about switching to Linux, wondered what the hell Linux even is, or simply been sick and tired of constant bugs, security flaws, failures and malfunctions, BSODs and all of the other fun things that come standard with Windows, this is probably a good starting point for you. Last week at work, I had to use a computer with Windows Vista on it and I think I can safely say that it was the most bloated, ill performing, ill designed, resource hogging, dumbed down, watered down shell in OS clothing that I've seen. Horrible. And I think that's probably where computing is going. Ever see Idiocracy where he goes to St. God's Hospital and they diagnose him by pushing the button with the stick figure pantomiming the affliction most closely resembling his? Yeah, it's like that. Moving on...

Ubuntu, like many other Linux OS these days, can be booted from a "Live CD," which means that you don't have to install anything on your computer to start using it. Nada. Zip. Jack Squat. Put the CD in your drive, restart the computer and...Viola...You're running Linux. When you're done, restart without the CD and...Viola...You're back in your usual OS. Ubuntu can also be run as an application within windows (I believe). Then, after you're finished seeing how superior Linux is to Windows, you just install it on your hard drive and start using it all the time (or dual-booting, I suppose). The good thing is, all of these methods of using Ubuntu are in the same .ISO file that you download and burn onto a CD-R.

Linux is also good for the cheapskate who doesn't want to buy or can't afford to buy the latest and (cough) greatest Windows OS since Linux is free. Free as in you don't have to pay for it. Free as in you can take it apart, play with it, change it, do whatever you want with it. Free as in once you have it, you can give it to your co-worker's nephew and your grandmother in Idaho. Free.

As I said earlier, I haven't used Windows (with the exception of doing so at work), in a couple months and I haven't missed it at all. The new system does pretty much everything that the old one did, only better and faster and without having to worry about compromising its security to spyware, viruses, code flaws and other computer nasties. For anything that I want to (I haven't needed to yet) run in Windows, I always have WINE and Bochs to do it, but those occasions are very few and very far between.

To Publish or Not To Publish

I got the following email the other day. The deadline is coming up and I was thinking about maybe submitting my thesis abstract but it's not in their required form and I don't know if it's acceptable to change the abstract from it's original form. My thesis was about the use of artificial intelligence in diabetes management so I think it would be a good fit. It's a good paper, real bleeding edge type stuff and I think it has a good chance of getting accepted if I submit it. Perhaps if I get some spare time I might get ahold of my advisor and ask whether it'd be a good thing to do or not. It'd be pretty rad to get published. This, along with the prospect of getting hired for that teaching gig (which I don't think I wrote about yet. maybe next time?), things might be looking up in the Danger Brain realm. And in the spirit of stream-of-consciousness-posting, hopefully I'll get a good post going on here about our dickbag landlords real soon. It'll be a real gem.

Diabetes Technology Society is pleased to invite you to submit an abstract to
the Eighth Annual Diabetes Technology Meeting, which will be presented November
13-15, 2008 at the Bethesda North Marriott Hotel & Conference Center. This
meeting is an excellent opportunity to showcase your work by submitting an
Abstract, networking with the world's top diabetes technology professionals, and
learning about the latest high-tech tools in the fight against diabetes.

The Meeting will include presentations on:
1) Technologies for Metabolic Monitoring
2) Noninvasive and Minimally Invasive Glucose Monitoring
3) Insulin Delivery Technology
4) Artificial Pancreas
5) Diabetes Information Management
6) Internet and Diabetes
7) Nanotechnology and MEMS for Sensors and Pumps
8) Tissue Engineering for Insulin Production
9) Assessing Diet and Exercise
10) Technologies for Improving Compliance With Diabetes Therapy

We invite your submission of an Abstract for a meeting topic or other area of
diabetes technology. Abstracts will be published both in the new peer-reviewed
bimonthly scientific e-journal of the Diabetes Technology Society, "Journal of
Diabetes Science and Technology" (DST), as well as the meeting syllabus. All
Abstracts will be considered for poster presentation and you have the option to
submit your Abstract to be considered for oral presentation.

The top three abstracts first-authored by students will receive the Peterson
Student Research Award. This Award includes travel, lodging, and registration
for the Diabetes Technology Meeting plus a cash prize (Gold: $1000, Silver:
$500, and Bronze: $300). The deadline to submit an Abstract is July 03, 2008.

[...snip...]

Over the past seven years we have received over 1000 abstracts for this meeting.
At last year's Meeting in San Francisco, over 600 clinicians and scientists
from 25 countries attended, and we hope you will take part in this year's
meeting.

It'd be preeeettty cool to get that cash and maybe take a little trip.

Online Game Trading

So, I was trying to dump some of my old video games on Craig's List the other day and the only thing I was getting in response were CL scams of people sending me links to (presumably their own) auctions, similar to the old "here's-a-google-search-result-that-really-takes-you-to-my-penis-pill-website" scam. So then I (very briefly) considered taking my games to some joint like E B Games or GameStop, but then I remembered that the last time I tried that they offered me about $4 for a PS2 game that they had sitting on the shelf, used, for $17 and quickly removed that though from my head. That almost as bad as the college book stores, like the one that offered me $5 for a physics book that I bought the previous quarter for $120+. But it's OK, I'm not bitter.

Anyway...I poked around on the internet and found This Place, Goozex. First of all, they hook you up with a free game just for joining. Then, provided you use that link, they hook you up with another two free games after you complete your first positive trade (including your free game). By "free game," of course, I mean 100 points and 1 free trade credit. You spend your points on games and it costs 1 trade credit per game that you receive so, in total, you get 300 points and 3 trade credits just for signing up with that link. More popular games cost more, but there are plenty of 100 point games. Even if you just go to their main page you get 2 free games (but if you use that link I get a free one also! ;-) ). You can also get rid of your old games on there in exchange for the going rate of points for that game. The only downside is that you have to wait in line behind people that requested to send or receive a game before you. In sum, check it out; even if you don't have games to get rid of, you can get up to 3 games just for signing up.

GOOZEX

Gigantour 2008 Cleveland, OH

Well, since I'm on a roll with putting crap into The Chronicles, I'll try to keep it up.

A couple weeks ago we went up to visit Blair's folks and see a show. It was sort of a combined birthday present to all of us since it was close to Devin and Blair's birthdays and Blair couldn't have made it up there without my car. Hooray dependence!



Anyway, Blair, her brother, his friend, her dad and I all went up to Cleveland to see this year's Gigantour. We had a nice lunch and some libations at Applebees, then made our way to the Hard Rock at Tower City, just up the hill from the venue, for some more beverages, and then rolled down the hill to see some bands and drink $8 beers. We didn't have a camera with us (besides, they were disallowing about half of the people with digital cameras from bringing them in anyway), so the only thing we had were our phones, which, obviously, aren't all that great.

The show was pretty gnarly. The opening bands were Job For a Cowboy, High on Fire, Children of Bodom, and In Flames. They were all actually pretty good and hardcore, which is a lot more than I can say for some opening bands I've seen before. The pit got pretty rowdy for all of the bands and everyone ended up bloody, bruised and broken just like one should when participating in such behavior. Not quite as rowdy as for some of the bands at Ozzfest (Hatebreed, Lamb of God for example...quarter mile wide circle-pit-of-violence), but still good stuff.



Of course, the headliners were Megadeth. I'm still kind of in awe that I actually got to see these guys live. They put on one hell of a show! I mean, they've been doing this for a couple decades now and they know what they're doing. I don't know if Mustaine was feeling a little under the weather or what, but he didn't have his trademark snarl quite down pat but they still rocked like mofos, doing all the old hits like Peace Sells and Symphony of Destruction as well as new joints off their recent albums.

I got a few more pictures, but they're all equally as crappy as these. Like I said, they were just on my cell phone and the best it can take is 640x480 resolution pictures. It also didn't help that pretty much EVERYTHING on stage reflected the stage lights to a point where it would wash out most of my pictures. I tried recording a little bit of the audio on my phone too, but we were so close to the stage and it was so loud that that didn't work out too well. Whenever I get a chance I'm going to try to stick them into a PhotoBucket slideshow, but I haven't booted Windows in a couple months and my *nix configuration apparently doesn't play nice with their flash slidehow maker. We got some better pictures of the last OzzFest, so if I keep it up with posting here, I'll try to get some of those up.

Your Own Personal Jesus

Yep. My own personal Jesus. Sent to me directly by mail to give me fortune, fame and whatever else my heart desires for only a small monetary donation to St Matthew's Churches.

I got an envelope in the mail yesterday the front of which read

"This very old church loans this to you, to bless someone connected with this home. Then, it must go to another family that desires God's blessings. See letter inside...Your Home First"

and

"We want to give you this free piece of jewelry, a cross Blessed for you."

Needless to say I did a Google Search on it before opening it just in case it was some radical fundamentalist sect sending out anthrax or letter bombs to the unsuspecting general public. What, you don't do that too? This thing was creepy. Anyway, I read all about it online so I didn't need to open it just yet. I took it in to work for Show & Tell today. It was a big hit.

Inside the envelope was my very own Magic Purple Jesus Paper Prayer Rug; "soaked with the power of prayer for [me]." There were also instructions for using this miraculous 11x17" piece of paper. I'm not sh/tting you; this thing came in the mail to me. I'm in the process of trying to find the text of the letter online so I don't have to transcribe it, but the gist of it is as follows:

- Read the testimonials of others, like "Sister Y" who used the magic carpet and got $46,888.20!!11!!ONE!!!ELEVEN!!!11
- Get out your Magical Purple Paper Prayer Rug.
- Stare at Jesus' closed eyes until they automagically open up and stare back at you.
- Go into a room by yourself and kneel with both knees on it.
- (According to some internet accounts of their letter) Place the rug in a Bible at the page on which Philippians 4:19 is printed and leave it over night. If you have no bible, just stick it under your bed overnight.
- Put a check-mark next to your needs, which include: A Better Job, A new Car, A Home To Call My Own, Pray For for God to bless me with this amount of money: $________, et al.
- Check (or not) the box for whether you want the free Deuteronomy 8:18 Prosperity Cross, blessed by the curch.
- Enclose your "seed gift to God's work of $________"
- Send the whole shebang back to the church within 24 hours, or else your miracle won't come true. Plus they apparently need to send the rug on to others who need a Magic Jesus Rug.
- After you've mailed it back to them, the next day you can open your "Sealed Prophecy" but WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T OPEN THE SEALED PROPHECY BEFORE YOU SEND BACK THE RUG!!!!
- Profit.

Ah, btw, I found the full text. It's down there at the bottom. Anyway, this story has a tragic end. With all the fun we were having with it at work, and me practicing guitar and APPARENTLY NOT PLAYING SOFTBALL BECAUSE OF BAD WEATHER DESPITE IT BEING 60 DEGREES AND NICE OUTSIDE it turns out that I didn't get a chance to use the rug and send it back in within their 24 hour deadline. It's OK though, because I opened the envelope real careful-like (you know, in case it really was a letter bomb or anthrax after all) so now I can stuff most of their stuff back into the envelope, mark it REFUSED and send it back at their expense. I'll also be leaving the business reply mail (postage paid by them) out so that I can stuff it with Wal-Mart ads, newspaper clippings and other various things to make it bulky enough to cost plenty and sending that back to them at their expense.

It's just sick to think of how many sheeple will buy into this and send these turds their money. Below is most of the text from the enclosed letter, copied from a user over at Snopes.

READ WHAT GOD IS DOING HERE AT ST. MATTHEW'S CHURCHES.

Dear . . . Someone Connected with This Address,

People just like you are writing to this 55-year-old church, telling us of all types of blessings since this church started praying with them. They are receiving divine help in the form of answered prayer. Some are seing loved ones saved, and many of them are receiving spiritual, physical and financial blessings of all types - better jobs, raises in salaries, being able to buy and sell homes, buying new cars, and so on. Actually, these dear people are receiving so many blessings that it is impossible to mention them all in a letter. And, as you will read in the enclosed brochure a Sister Garcia used the same type of Bible faith prayer rug that we are sending to you, with this letter, and was blessed with almost $50,000! Now, we must talk to you about something we see, in the Holy Spirit, concerning you and your family's needs.

GOD's HOLY BLESSING POWER IS IN THE ENCLOSED ANOINTED PRAYER RUG WE ARE LOANING YOU TO USE!!!

WE MUST GIVE YOU THIS OPPORTUNITY FIRST . . . THEN IT MUST GO TO THE HOME OF ANOTHER DEAR FRIEND WHO NEEDS A BLESSING . . . You, or someone connected with this address, and another dear family are about to be blessed through this unusual Bible Faith, Curch, Prayer Rug, which we are placing in your care for these next 24 important hours. Because of any needs you are facing, we want you to use this Church Prayer Rug first, then we must pass it on to another dear friend of ours who also needs a blessing. As we pray for you and everyone connected with this address, WE FEEL THAT SOMETHING VERY WONDERFUL IS TRYING TO COME TO YOU.

When you use this Faith Church Prayer Rug, go into a room where you can be alone (just God and you). Turn off the television and radio and try to be by yourself when you kneel on this Holy Ghost, Bible Prayer Rug, or spread it over your knees. We want this Church Ministry, Prayer Rug to be touching both of your knees as you pray for the needs yo are facing right now. It is going to be like you are kneeling before God All Mighty at the alter inside a great church of blessings. If you need more joy, peace, health, money, a new car, a new house, healing in family communication, or whatever, we, as a very old (57 years) church, want to know about it. Check your prayer needs on page two of this letter. Talk to us. This power you and this church ministry are about to use works!

These next 24 important hours are crucial to you. Timing is important to God. After you kneel on this Church Prayer Rug, or place it over your knees, place it in a Bible, on Philippians 4:19. (If you don't have a Bible, it's okay - just slide it under your side of the bed, for tonight, if you can. If you can't do this, it is okay. Leave It There No Longer Than Tonight Only! God sees. Then, in the morning it is a must that you get this unusual blessing Church Prayer Rug out of this house and back to us, here at the church's chapel prayer room, in faith. We must also have this letter back, with whatever you need prayer for, printed on page two. You must get this Bible Prayer Rug back to us so we can rush it onto another family that's in need of a blessing. Do this without fail. Please, do not break this flow of power between us.

Notice the face of Jesus on this Church Prayer Rug. When you first look, you will notice that His eyes are closed. If you relax and continue looking straight into His eyes, you will see His eyes slowly opening, and He will begin looking back at you. Jesus sees your needs (Philippians 4:19). Use this unusuall, important Church Prayer Rug for tonight only.

Let us ask you: Would you like to have God's blessings upon your home, your family and your finances? Say, "Yes, Lord Jesus, I do need Your financial blessings upon me and my family's finances!" Deuteronomy 28.6. Just put a mark by your needs below, telling us that you want prayer. Also, check any other needs you are facing. Pray about sowing a seed gift to the Lord's work. Give God your best seed and beleive Him for His best blessing (St Luke 6:38). Now, go and use this Church, Faith, Prayer Rug. The Lord is watching and waiting. You are about to enter the Holy Spirit of God right here in your home, through this faith exercise. The, it is a must that you return it for another to use.

MAIL THIS PAGE BACK WITH THIS PRAYER RUG.
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF PRAYER!

Dear Brothers and Sisters at St Matthew's 57-Year Old Church,

( ) I received this Church Prayer Rug you loaned me, and I used it as instructed in this letter of faith. Now, I am returning it to you for another to use.

( ) Yes, I do need the Lord's blessings upon my family and me!

Pray for my family and me for

( ) My Soul
( ) A Closer Walk With Jesus
( ) My Health
( ) A Family Member's Health
( ) Confusion In My Home
( ) My Children
( ) To Stop A Bad Habit
( ) A Better Job
( ) A Home To Call My Own
( ) A New Car
( ) A Money Blessing
( ) I Want To Be Saved
( ) Pray for God to bless me with this amount of money: $________
( ) Please, especially pray for this person:
( ) Enclosed is my seed gift to God's work of $________

ST. MATTHEWS CHURCH MUST HAVE THIS PRAYER RUG BACK. PLEASE DO NOT MISPLACE IT. IT MUST GO TO ANOTHER HOME AFTER YOU USE IT.

BE SURE TO RETURN THIS PRAYER PAGE WITH THE RUG. IT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU TO DO SO. - THE CHURCH WILL PAY THE POSTAGE FOR YOU. YOU WILL RECEIVE A WONDERFUL FREE, SPIRITUAL GIFT THAT WILL BE A BLESSING TO YOU FOR A LIFETIME, AS SOON AS WE RECEIVE THIS BACK FROM YOU.

"ACCORDING TO YOUR FAITH BE IT UNTO YOU" ST. MATTHEW 9:29

PLEASE PRINT YOUR NAME.

Josie's on a vacation far away Pt. 2

Well, I noticed that pretty much the only traffic I get to this P.O.S blog is hits from Google searches for something to do with one of my old posts called "Josie's on a vacation far away" which is, of course, part of the lyrics to the song "Your Love" by The Police or Outfield or your choice of other countless covers. The post has absolutely nothing to do with the song, it was just a bit of lyrics that I had stuck in my head and I felt slightly guilty for tricking all those poor schmucks into coming here via Google.

So, since I'm now learning to play the guitar (again), I figure it can't hurt to put up the tabs and lyrics and maybe I'll learn it too. We'll learn together, now won't that be fun! By the way, I got a new guitar, so I'm not still trying to play that old sh*tty Gibson or Fender or whatever I got back when we lived over on first street.


Anyway, here goes:

Your Love (I Don't Wanna Lose Your Love Tonight) By
Sting and The Police / Outfield

Josie's on a vacation far away
Come around and talk it over
So many things that I wanna say
You know I like my girls a little bit older
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

I ain't got many friends left to talk to
No one's around when I'm in trouble
You know I'd do anything for you
Stay the night but keep it undercover
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

Trying to stop my hands from shakin'
Somethin' in my mind's not makin' sense
It's been a while since we were all alone
I can't hide the way I'm feelin'

As you leave me please would you close the door
and don't forget what I told you
Just 'cause you're right - that don't mean I'm wrong
Another shoulder to cry upon
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

Yeah

I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

Tonight

And the Tabs/Chords:

Your Love
The Outfield

Intro:
~~~~~

      E   C#m   B    
e|-----------------                   
B|-----------------                   
G|----9----6----4--                   
D|----9----6----4--                   
A|----7----4----2--                   
E|-----------------                   
                                      
                                      


Verse 1:
~~~~~~~
E             C#m           B
 Josie's on a vacation far away, come around and talk it over

E        C#m                   B
 So many things that I want to say, you know I like my girls a little bit

 A                      C#m             B
 older.  I just want to use your love tonight;

C#m              A                B
 I don't want to lose your love tonight.


Verse 2:
~~~~~~~
E                 C#m                    B
 I ain't got many friends left to talk to, no one's around when I'm in trouble

E             C#m             B
 You know I'd do anything for you, stay the night but keep it under

 A                      C#m             B        <--(Strum these, once each)
 cover.  I just want to use your love tonight;

C#m              A                B              <--(same here)
 I don't want to lose your love tonight.


Bridge:
~~~~~~
The lead riff into this part is something like:


     G              A                 G             A
e|---------------|-----------------|-------------|--------------------| (2x)
B|---3-----5--7--|--5---5---5------|--3----5--7--|--8--7h8p7--5--7----|
G|---4-----------|--6---7---6---6--|--4----------|--6---------6-------|
D|---5-----------|--7-----------7--|--5----------|--7-----------------|
A|---------------|-----------------|-------------|--------------------|
E|---------------|-----------------|-------------|--------------------|


G                A
 Try to stop my  hands from shakin'
 Something in my mind's not makin' sense
 It's been awhile since we've been all alone
 I can't hide the way I'm feelin'

Verse 3:
~~~~~~~
E                  C#m                        B
 As you leave me please would you close the door, and don't forget what I
                                                        told you

E                C#m            B
 Just 'cause you're right - that don't mean I'm wrong, another shoulder
                                                        to cry up-
A                    C#m             B
 on.  I just want to use your love tonight;  <--+
                                                |- (Repeat 3 times)
C#m              A                B             |
 I don't want to lose your love tonight.     <--+


Outro:
~~~~~
C#m - A - B  (repeat and fade)  throw in an occasional Bsus

(Listen to the record to understand how the following lines
go with the music.)

   Voice 1      Voice 2

              Lose your love.
              Lose your love.
Your love.
              Lose your love.

I don't wanna lose your love tonight.
              Lose your love.
Your love.                               (repeat and fade)
              Lose your love.

Perfect. Now I can rest easy at night now knowing that visitors to The Danger Chronicles won't be disappointed. Well, at least with the Outfield tabs and lyrics. The rest of the blog still sucks.

Brain Sprinkling

Get it? Like a brain storm, only less.

So, I'm constantly going about with all these grand ideas for a post to make on this damn blog thing so that it's not so f-ing lame. Don't get me wrong, it would still be lame, just not quite as bad. As I sit at work, visions of gun control posts, political posts, music posts, fence posts, random thought posts and posts with real, meaningful updates regarding my fascinating life and times dance through my head. And then I get home. If you've read any of my other posts you'll quickly realize that I'm a procrastinator. A procrastinator with poor priority management at that. I can't even figure out what to put off doing first.

Well, tonight I'm a procrastinator with a pint glass of Jim Beam with a splash of root beer and a slightly less hectic schedule.

I've been putting a lot of time into That One Song and it's still not even a wonderful as I had envisioned. It's getting better though. Membership (free, go now), is slowly growing and I even have some "celebrity" members.

I haven't updated my personal website in a long time, despite my constant discussion of it and urge to do something with it. In fact, I'm not even sure how much longer Ohio University will host my webpage. (see next paragraph)

Oh yeah...I guess I graduated. I have a Masters degree now. I guess we see how stoked I am about it; it made it in the top 5 paragraphs of this post. I was finished with it about a month ago. I defended my thesis (Similarity Determination and Case Retrieval in an Intelligent Decision Support System for Diabetes Management or something like that). And believe me, it's every bit as exciting as the title sounds. It's about using an artificial intelligence system that I built the guts for to replace endocrinologists for helping diabetes patients. Maybe I'll host it somewhere and post a link if I ever get around to it (not likely). It's available online in a couple places. I even have a copyright for it. Neat.

Well, along with graduating comes the disappearance of my teaching gig. Along with the disappearance of my teaching gig comes more hours at Mitchell Electronics (ugh, actually working for my money). I like working well enough, I guess...I just have better things to do. By the way, this is probably a good place to let you know that Jim Beam keeps screwing with my keyboard and making me transpose the letters 'N' and 'G' whenever I type a word ending in "-ign" as well as inadvertently inserting extra 'E's and 'K's where they don't belong at all, making the typing of this post quite long and arduous....

Oh...employment. I applied for a job in Washington. It's for the parent company of a the place that my buddy, Josh, works for. The job description sounds right up my alley and it definitely sounds like something I'd like to do and in a place I'd like to be. I half hope I get it because, as far as jobs go, it's as good or better than most others. On the other hand, I guess I don't really want to face the music that I'm "grown up" now and need to get a "career" rather than just a "job." If I don't get that job, I figure I'll just make my resume public on Dice.com and start looking for other jobs in my field. I told Larry that I'd be at Mitchell's until January and not later than June, so I guess I have a little window of time.

I also bought a truck. It's a Dodge Durango and it's awesome. And thirsty. It's up there in that picture.

Well, I'm out of here for now. Hopefully I get the motivation and creativity to do stuff like develop websites and make blog posts more in the future. Hopefully I get a good job. Hopefully I get my island, hockey team and cars that I want. Hopefully I get some deer next week (and F you to all the pheasant that we didn't shoot last weekend). Wish me luck.